Surrender…the hardest thing I will be asked to do.

There is no doubt about it; I am a rebel.  I’m the person who always did the opposite of what someone told me to just for the heck of it.  I knew when I first started going to church that submitting to an authority figure was going to be the hardest thing I would ever be asked to do.  And it’s something that I have had to work on in stages.  First, it was learning more and more about my Savior.  Then it was being baptized.  After that, I started to study the Bible in more depth and joined some small study groups.  Now, I’m volunteering in the church almost every weekend.  The newest area that I have surrendered to my heavenly Father is my financial situation through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.  One has to be truly devoted to God to be able to submit to Him and ask Him to use you to do His will, not yours.

But, my dreams?  My big huge pie-in-the-sky kind of dreams?  Certainly God didn’t want to hear what I dream about.  He has his own plans for us and I just have to wait for him to open doors when I am standing in the right place at the right time (which I know has happened before).  I was (read: am) afraid that His dreams for me are going to make me uncomfortable and probably face the number one thing that I avoid at all costs.  What if He wants me to be friends with that one person I just can’t bring myself to forgive for past trespasses?  What if He wants me to stand up in front of ridiculously huge audiences and speak to them when I’m terrified of speaking in front of my Bible Study class?  What if He wants me to start a new ministry or business and I have no education or understanding of how to even begin to go about it?  What if He wants me to do ALL of these things?!  I will do whatever my Father leads me to do because I want Him to be given praise, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to be praying for the strength to get through it every day.

I know for me, I am frightened by the thought of sitting around waiting on doors to be opened when I feel like I should be running to be closer to Jesus.  Does that mean I will never fall?  Absolutely not; I fall every day.  But, He offers His grace when we do and picks us back up even when we are at our lowest.  How can I NOT want to do whatever He needs me for?!  Who am I to tell God that I’m too busy to do what He needs done for building His kingdom?

Please share your thoughts with me!  What are the things you avoid at all costs?  What are your big huge, pie-in-the-sky dreams?  I will share mine with you on another day.  🙂


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